Definitely The Last Post, This Blog Has Been a Collection of articulated misery!
From Father to friend & first loves in life…. I have shat all over these pages to help get a perspective on my thoughts regarding my personal relationships of present and past.
Though I find these posts beneficial for me to sort what current situations stand at in my life. I find that this whole blog “could” have been a much more positive message for the reader. Never has it been my intention to create a transference of discomfort from these writings.
I agree with Dante that the lowest level (level 10) of hell is soley owned by the people who gain trust and abuse it. No doubt an around the world phenomenon that all of us have faced & failed to overcome.
But sometimes you’re situation isn’t something that you can succeed through but build character while failing.
Helping friends is important, counseling friends can be beneficial…. But some friends arn’t there to be friends but moreso to attaint attention. Though I’d like to phrase this differently, I emplore ANYONE reading this to take a mental inventory & understand that I now have no choice other than to cut ties with a lifelong friend that not only is digressing in life in every fashion but also severly affecting my baseline mood & stresses me out with problems that I have no way to solve.
I think back to the days when the two of us didn’t have too much in common but atleast had some commonality, even as pathetic it is to say the only two things we have in common at most points in time were Weed & Video Games. Buddy Pawned his gaming console for “food with malicious deceptive” .
People I told him were no good, taking all my time to ask for advice on subjects that he would have absolutly no interest in following through with.
Now this subject is very difficult for me to articulate without deflecting my sadness into anger. No doubt I am sad, about my efforts exceeding the person’s motivations i’m trying to talk to and help. I’m sad that my existence within our family friend’s perceptions see me as a quick fix for a sad & lonley guy that has had a hell of a cheer squad on his side even with all of his setbacks. whether it’s his mental disability that he crutches on to be less productive than his limitations, or his constant desire to convince himself of lies by conversation with others that have no understanding of the technical details of a situation. This can range from saying he’s hungry, then getting back to his parents house & instantly yelled at for being late for dinner.
Beyond constant miscommunication & elaboration of stories to gain any form of pity and attention.
These types of people are poison to the soul. A person that will take your time asking for advice & continue to ask for advice even though they never listen but think calling for the latest escapade is an immediate urgency.
Telling me that he wanted to go for lunch on my birthday and having me pick up the bill as well as not waiting to eat as an event together but instead as individual starving savages.
This story is the heartbreak of my life, This guy was closer than brothers without blood relation. Raised up together spending more time than most siblings do.
Talking about job application strategies, Best dog owner strategies & whatever the hell was the topic of the day.
My friends, I at this point feel dragged, wasted & abused. YES ABUSED!
This motherfucker at 14 years old tells me he’s about to jump in front of a train……. Ever since then he has used that “Nuclear Option” as his fall back to no matter what attempt to make me feel guilty. Well my Not So Friend, You are purposfully wasting my time on a relationship that ask’s for my time and doesn’t appreciate it. Puts no effort to make their life better and at every turn (somehow) find themselves with another stack of problems that I’m asked to sort through even though no action will ever be taken.
Being mentally poisoned with the technical details of people and their (supposed rejecting attitudes) that i’ve never personally experienced. Enraging me in defense of him, a person that really can’t competently compel a verbal argument. I’ve gotten into arguments with the whole crew of family over issues that are fictious or overblown… sometimes consciously deceived.
These are forms of betrayals, utilizing emotional terrorism for a desired outcome living vicuriously through the ME….
I wish there was another way to go about this other than an abrupt termination of contact. He will need to do what he needed to the whole time, Take Care Of HimSelf!
And So Do I ❤
Moral of the story, be selfish with yourself for yourself!
Stay Elevated, Maybe we’ll keep this blog and change the frame of mind while writing. For me I need to keep myself together and moving forward.
Looking back gives nothing but struggle, sometimes you have to be like Cortez!
Burn The Boats!